New letters of Timlan Lubbers, aka Kelvin Brown, aka McKelvin Brown.
How are you doing there, hope you are in a good hands, I'm up in the sky right now but I can't just stop thinking about you sweetie, I'm telling you my mind in this letter just to let you how much this relationship mean to me, Do you know what it is like to look up into the velvet night sky, and yet not see the stars? Do you know what it is like to see the song birds sing their sweet music, and yet not hear their sound? Do you know what it is like to feel your heart inside you, and yet not feel it beat? Do you know what it is like to be in a crowd of people smiling, laughing, sharing their love together, and yet be all alone with no one around? Do you know what it is like when the light of your life has been extinguished, and you are left in absolute and complete darkness, frightened and alone? Do you know what it is like when the one you love so deeply and dearly is so far away? Your heart cries out their name and yet there is no reply.
All you want to do is hold them in your arms, and you cannot. All you desire to do is to kiss their sweet lips, and you cannot. You long to hear their soft sweet voice as they whisper words of love to you, and you cannot. You just want them near, and they are not. Their absence brings with it frustration and sadness. You curse God that you cannot be with the one you love, and yet you thank him completely for bringing that person into your life, all the while knowing that no amount of dreams and hopes and prayers, can, at once, change the situation - the situation that is in the hands of the God that you curse.
So, what do you do in such times? How do you keep your wits about you? How do you maintain some semblance of normal life, when all you can do is think about is the person that you are so in love with and that you would do or give anything just to be with? You feel lost somewhere between the cruel reality of life, and the dream-like fairytale that you wish to live in, and the only salvation is to be found in the arms of your beloved and that cannot happen. Friends cannot comfort your soul. Thoughts only make the pain in your heart worse. What do you do? You think about them - oh my God, how you think about them endlessly! You pray to God for the strength to see it through this situation, knowing that someday you will be with that person forever. But is that enough? No. Not always. Until you are in their arms, nothing really helps.
The mind is a whirlwind as your thoughts are tossed around like matchsticks in the wind. But the one thought that is all constant and eats away at the core of my soul is a simple one: 'When will I hear from you again? Will I ever hear from you again?' Such silly thoughts are these. But time can cause such thoughts to occur. It is only human. I am only human. And so, I wait. For how long? Only time and God can tell. And as I wait it seems as though the hands of the clock move in reverse instead of forward. Each second that passes seems as an eternity away from you. Time takes you further away from me instead of bringing you closer, and time is something that is beyond our control. Oh to be an angel, and have wings that I may fly into your arms at this very second. To taste your sweet kiss and feel your warm embrace. To love you, to have the pain of needing you, vanish in your arms, as would snowflakes on a summer day. And to know that we would at last, be together for all our days. Days spent lost in sweet heavenly love, such as we have never known. Oh God, my dear Sheila, how is it that love can be so wonderful, and yet hurt so badly? Such pleasure in knowing and feeling your love for me, and such mortal pain in being apart from the one that I love so deeply, so dearly, so passionately.
Darling there is an old saying that applies to being away from something. It goes, 'Out of sight...out of mind.' But, my love, every 'old saying' has an opposite meaning. In this old saying it is also said, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder,' and just when I think it is not possible to be more in love with you, a second ticks off the clock, and I discover that I am more in love with you then ever before.
From the day we met, I knew that you would hold my heart in your hands and you more than do that - you completely own me and every part of me. When I think of you, my heart is so full of love and passion for you that I can hardly contain myself. I think of spending every minute of every day with you and holding you so close to me. Whenever you think of me, please know that no matter how many miles separate us or how much of our lives comes between us, you are and always will be the love of my life and I will never love anyone as much again. I thank God everyday for letting me meet you and for you falling in love with me because I know that it would never be as perfect any other way. I love you with all that I am. I want you to know that you are a blessing that my entire being is very thankful for. I feel that we were made to love, listen, understand, and work through all times in our lives together and individually. ;) I feel that we have shared more time together than we ever will and I know there are many more special occasions and moments in our lives that will surprise and bring us closer. My Love I want you to get well soon...just here thinking of you my wife.
I am in the coast of Dubai and having to wake up every morning by 6am to catch up my chopper down here. Working from then till late at night, yet being able to be distracted by this woman. lol. I have over 70 labors here, both skilled and locals, yet all could notice a new glow on my face. lol. Bishop, Nelson and I , have always stayed at Nelson's in his CA home, he just got married almost two years now. He found his woman on the net and to be sincere, he inspired us. I did not buy a house in the states until now, because i would love to find my woman first, then building a home would start from there. I am being true to my feelings, as my old friend would say, Never question if you are in love or not, because if you were you wouldn't need to ask. So the best of men, would accept what they feel without questions, because truly, Love and death can't be escaped, no one can tell , when, how, or where. It is never too early or too late.
What is more important to you the love you share, the memories you have or the lover? Give love a chance to swallow you up. I know this doesn't happen instantly most times but, it surely will suprise you before you know it, but it will be the most rewarding experience you will ever have.
If you are as open minded and simple as me, i can promise you that the sky would be the limit.
How are you doing and hope you are in good hands? Can you imagine how yesterday went. I was with the nine rascals at the quarters. Oh! i need to tell you who the nine rascals are. They are my professional buddies. we work together, we have more of a friendship relationship than Employee employer relationship. When one of us has an occasion to grace, you would be thrilled. we could act much and make a crowd laugh out their stress. There is Nelson, Bishop, Owen, Chan, Lee, John, Brian, Nekky, and mike. Nelson met Debby online while we were in Africa, then we moved out after our project. Then Chan was always getting on Nelson's nerves, but really, they have always been like that. Bishop would call them, cat and dog. They would make fun of each other and i tell you the whole party would laugh. But today, Even Debby is Chan's best friend. After their marriage, we went to Saudi to bid for a project on one of their oil platforms. I personally logged most of my funds in the bidding's and so did many of us. It got to a point that we were knocked out by their local politics. It left us almost stranded, please don't laugh at us,lol. But somehow you wouldn't believe it , Debby did most of the work of getting our naughty asses out of there. We were disappointed that we lost big, but as humans, we don't know when God has a bigger plan for us. Just the same week we got back to Europe, we got this biggest project of our career herein Dubai. We were bidding for a 4 million gain project and we got a gift of over 10 m,lol.
Most of my colleagues still have this envy in them, but as it is , i did not make myself but God did. When we went back to the states to finalize nelson's wedding. we met her family. My dear, they had us for days and the old man did not want the rascals to go. They impacted so much into their lives. Even the man calls on us like a father, time to time till now. What i know is that, we were able to get people's love , not because of wealth but because of our simplicity. That is one thing that can never be compromised in life. So yesterday, i gave them an exclusive on how i met this woman who has become a screen saver on my mind, and they were thrilled, saying they can't wait to meet her. They promised they had a bet on who would be closer to her, can you believe that. They all said, Hey!.....please put up her pic in the main room,lol.
I can't wait to finish this project in less than weeks so i can come show you how much i can steal your heart, Let us see if you can resist this Happy man! LOL. The day was fun because we left early. And i started visualizing how soon i can see my woman. I wish i could get a house ahead of time so that on arrival i wouldn't need a hotel,lol.
How did your day go? do you think you have listened to your heart? listen to it and you will find out how much you can gain! I am just a man who wants my best friend with me. Someone i can look at and smile for no reason. Someone i can't wait to get home to be with. Someone to hold in my arms and whisper to her ears. someone to run my fingers through her ears. Someone who is never afraid of telling her deepest thoughts to me. Someone who sees me more as her twin.
What do you think?
By the way, i hope you too took your profile off the date site as i have taken mine off because i have found you and you have turned gold...My Dear you can text me of send me a Voice mail if am unable to pick the call,I just want to hear from you my dear. Missing you Big.
You must wonder why i call you sunshine,...it is simply because i Can't seem to get the picture of you off my mind. I felt like giving you a hug after reading from you sweet because it made me smile so much after reading from you,lol. It really made my day sweetie. Just as the sun, lights up the earth, you light up my life. You are the only one i have met online here, with a heart so bright. Just seems like yesterday, you came around my way, you changed my whole scene right away, with your outstanding personalty. The only reason this was possible even though i have not met you is because you must have portrayed yourself well and you have been Yourself. That is good, because if i ever fall in love with you for beauty, I wouldn't walk more than miles to see more beauty, If i love you for wealth, I wouldn't walk more miles to see more, If i love you for smiles, I would see more in TV,lol But the only thing i can fall in love with is 'you', and that can't be gotten by anyone else because its been YOU! that is absolutely what no one can ever be. Like i said, it takes a life time to try knowing the reason why you feel the way you do with some people but the answers are never there, trust me, the day relationships starts falling is the day people can figure out the exact reason they have loved each other. Life is boring if perfect. Life is worse when there is nothing to change about anything.
The balance in life is based on the facts that, there must be thieves and criminals for the police to remain employed, The medical practitioners would run out of business if we were all hale and hearty. The legal practitioners would die of boredom if there weren't offenders. If everyone are vegetarians, Oh my! guess how many people would not earn a living. Christians bring out the best in Christianity because of the presence of Islam. If everyone is rich, wealth would be meaningless... who would do the laundry? who would drive the car? who would guard who? who would keep whose money? lol. The essence for this short words is that, if you can read the meaning in this, then you are my woman for sure. The moral of the speech is that,. We were all created for each other. There is much fun in helping. We can all be better if we accept the fact that we can't live without each other. The world would be a better place if we can start accepting things we cant change. Because , the only constant thing in life is, CHANGE! Sitting here thinking about you, brings out a part of me that loves everything.
I have a proposal for you this wonderful day Honey, Because i know you at least care about me, after all you wake up to check on my mail and know if i am still alive,lol, that is something. So i want your help today. There is this woman whom i just met, and i could be scared about how she has gotten my attention, but i would be stupid to submit to fears. I noticed that she already has a place that can not be replaced in my heart. Who could ever think of hurting such a woman who only wants happiness? I want you to help me find her and tell her, i am not known for fears. I know a journey of a thousand years start with a single step. A man who wants to fly must at least learn to stand on his feet! tell her if she is willing, i would love to take her hands. I am a man who gives nothing or everything. Once i have her hand, i can promise her forever. Tell her i know this is not going to be a kid walk, tell her i know there are times we would argue in future. but tell her i would teach her to know that even while we argue we would still be holding hands because there are many sides to a coin. Tell her life is short, but we can make paradise out of it. Tell her, her worries have become mine, because i do not really know how she has done it. Tell her, that coming across her was by chance, communicating with her was by choice, but then falling for her is beyond my control.
You know where to find her my dear, just go to your dressing mirror and you would find her staring back at you,lol.
Please look into her eyes and speak this to her for me.
I don't know what i have done that i deserve a second chance. I lost one and yet i found another angel. How did i become so lucky. I trusted my instincts and got only you from that site and you turned gold. My instincts still directs me to move ahead with her in my journey. I really thank my God. I mean i ask for something good and he gives me the best as i feel completely drawn to you and do not know if you might have cast a spell on me..lol
Hiding from the whole past, rains and snow, for i may be reminded of some memories, trying to forget yet i won't let go. Walking through a crowded street, i could still hear my own heartbeat. So many people around this world my dear, tell me, where do i find someone like you? even when i haven't met you it seems so real and pure. Please take me straight to your heart, take me to your soul, show me that wonders can be true as i cannot stop thinking about you. They say, nothing lasts forever, we are only here today, Love is now or never, please bring me far away! give me your hand and hold me, show me what love is again, maybe i haven't got a clue, be my guardian star and cupid. Take my hands before i am too old. I could go be with some friends to have fun, but they don't really comprehend. I don't need too much talking without saying anything, all i need is some one who makes me want to sing. And you do a great job on that as i have written a song i would sing for you when i get to you in less than few weeks i would handover and come see you. Would you mind picking this old man from the airport? lol.
Have you ever danced in a rain? give it a try and see how free your soul really is. I'm proud of the person you are. I love the way you are with me and with others. I'm proud to be with someone like you, the sweetest and most caring woman I've ever known. Don't ever change, Honey, as you're perfect to me ... we're perfect for each other and it will be like that for eternity.
Hello my love,
How are you today? I am indeed so delighted with your response to our little quiz.lol. We have started final installations of equipments. I could also notice the joy of relief upfront on the faces of my men as it has been quite a long project. Even the locals are begining to admit that they will surely miss us. They say we have become more of a family,lol. I love all my men, be it professional, acquired expatriate, and locals because while working i try to build a personal relationship with each and every one of them so as to bring about and get the best of them and i have over 300 men on this location. I have a dual citizenship to us, would try to get the pass when i get home, most of my rascals are Asian, Nelson is canadian while Bishop is british,lol.
I must confess, i miss my ma, but then she is a strong woman my dear. Sometimes i call her Jesus's mother,lol. She has a good heart and also i can tell you her instincts are like oracle. She did say she likes you.
As i have said, i don't feel negative about any feelings i have right now, because it can't be failed except for lies. Truly, Love needs no map, for it can find it's way blindfolded. This kind of certainty comes, but once in a lifetime. Guys always seem to wonder what it takes to get a woman... Like, what do they have to do to make a woman notice them? then i say, Guys have to realize that they have to be sweet, caring, gentle, honest and still have that sweet little thing about them that drives any woman crazy, lol and that's reaching her heart. No matter how much you try, if you don't reach her heart, it won't ever be worth-while. And really how did this happen if i have a space in your heart now and you haven't met me to feel sentiments? it means i have gotten the most important part of the journey upfront,lol.
Who shall say that the maiden so pretty and fair shall always have the greater man? and the ogre who walks to the beat of thundering clouds will never find her prince? because really, love is destiny, and no one can really explain it. I hope your days are good. Please keep me updated with events around you.
Always your Husband,
How are you today my Sunshine? You know, God gave us two arms, two legs, two eyes, two ears, but only one heart so we can find the other pair. And as i have learnt that Love is the soul recognition of it's counterpart in someone else. I loved the fact that i got this much mails from you. i feel special. You do not need worry about anything sweetie, i told my ma about you and she is sure glad that i have found what has made me happy and also because i have decided to move on, lastly it is what she has always wanted for me is what i am having right now, trust me, i am a warrior. lol
What a wonderful way of life it is to find joy and happiness in someone else.
I would ask you some few questions that i require sincere answers from you.
Do you believe in Love, even amidst this crazy world we find ourselves in?
Do you believe that happiness has value more than every material things we may get in life?
Do you believe that you have a good heart and can care for people unconditionally?
If you found a hundred dollar bill on the road and see a hungry orphan, would you feed him?
If you get into an argument with me, and i pull you close to kiss you, would you still kiss me back?
Would you love those close to me as i would love all those who matter to you?
If i bring you breakfast to your bed would you kiss me after saying thanks?
Do you love to run away with me sometimes where we would be out of business environment to spend quality time together?
Do you believe the world should concentrate more on peace projects than war funding's?
Do you have faith that every man is the architect of his own destiny?
Do you believe that Life without Love is like a harp without strings?
Do you know that, You can't make someone love you, and that all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth?
If God is the DJ, then Life is the dance floor; Love is the rhythm, and You might be my rhythm?
If you have said yes to all these and you say no to my next question then you might not really know what you want then,lol.
WOULD YOU BE MINE TODAY , TOMORROW AND TILL THE END OF TIME?
I know the possibility of thinking, this man i haven't met, how can there be these feelings? what does he know about me? But i can tell you the truth about life. The people you have met and probably fallen in love with, what do they know about you that you think i don't know? probably, just some physical things, like smell, sense of touch, and body physics, and that is all. But these few things are the least things to love for. These are just sentimental values that are found in many at good length. The main things to love for are the abilities to agree on phenomena, and sense of directions. The unexplained attraction to someone's words, which is life itself. These are the only things that matters deep down. How best can one get these things better than meeting in writings? where you can escape the sentimental factors i mentioned earlier and once we meet, the biggest sentiments is there and one wouldn't be able to help but start the feelings from there. I can tell you that the Internet is the best and also the worst way of meeting people. In the sense that it is the best if two people meet and are as open as a book with each other with no lies. I promise it can't fail . The worst in the sense that if these two met and there is even a single atom of lie in between them, then there comes disappointments, which is like a small stone that can bring down a big wall. Did you ever lie to me? because i wouldn't ever lie for anything. My ma brought me up a better man than that.LOL. Go and do the research about what i just said and you will find out if the maths is good or not.
As food is needed for the body, the same way love is needed for the soul. Food strengthens the body while love strengthens the soul. A person is incomplete without love. I will never give up the fight and will of love. Yesterday was big fun for us, we came back from the site early enough to have time to enjoy ourselves round the city. We did cruise a boat, and we laughed so much as usual. We all can't wait to be out of here for a long vacation.
They sang for me and put your name in the song how nice,.. You know we work all day except for Sundays for us. I did picture you with us on the cruise laughing so hard in my arms,lol. Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones. I do cherish your presence in me.
Please take good care of yourself dearest wonder.
Always your Husband,
How are you today honey and hope your day is better than mine.
Honey you wouldn't believe this as i just got to work, even though late today, but then so sad as i have four locals down with serious injuries and one gone due to the explosion on the rig from the installations that was going on. This is the most painful thing i have come across. Now the Rig tow they were rushing to fix before my arrival, did not swing into the best place after rolling down on them before time, but they did pay a hard price for this. I hate accidents on site, sometimes it makes you feel like not having to use the local labors, because they sometimes make these mistakes that don't make sense. I feel bad enough to feel responsible for them as they are my workers and may be i might have put them on a race track too much. The four have been taken to the general hospital now, i just pray for the best for them, most importantly i pity the family of the deceased as they are in so much pains now. They spoilt my mood this morning because they should have waited for us before making such vital installations as this would not have happened. The worst part of it is that these are even men who lack basic insurance for that matter, risking their lives and now i feel responsible for what has happened to them. Maybe i should have been on the rig early enough to be able to monitor every inch of it.
Can't write much for now honey, would try later as i will be visiting the family of the deceased soon and shortly back to the hospital. I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me and want you to know on the events around me ok. I really appreciate you dear. The joy i feel in recent days is my best.
Always ur husband to be,
con artist who lives at 219 Vine Street, Corsica, PA 15829, Phone 915-268-4020, mobile 814-297-7461
That is his cell and home number with his address. He started asking for money after only talking to him for only three week and tried to get me to up my credit to $10,000 and when hat did not work he tried to get personal information. But the joke is on him because you see I am loaded and so is my family and we are looking for his ass. We are currently in Dubai which is where he states that he is currently located working on installations on a oil rig. LIAR.