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Humorous ideas how to deal with Russian dating scammers

 

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Some people here had funny ideas what emails to send back to those dating scammers. I liked them so much, I created a new thread for them.


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2009-09-03, 15:18:04
OJAS from United States  
2009-09-03, 15:18:17
OJAS from United States  
Translation

email subject : Suck my dick

Hello, Stag ! !

I discovered this very beautiful name for you, I will call you from now on. Do not tell anyone, your sweet name I have given you. I have just wired via Western Union to my embassy in Moscow, $ 1500 (US Dollars) instructing my friend to apply it towards your visa, and air-fare. Or, would you like her to arrive to you in Yoshkar-Ola to personally deliver the money to you? Please call me immediately with your answer. My number is Country exit code, then 8094962700 .... You will need the pass code ........ my secret question, that will be asked of you, ''What would you love to hear everyone say to you?'' and remember your answer, ''fuck you''. After you talk to me, call Eolina at (7-863) 278-50-34 and inform about us, but you have to talk to her in Russian only. You will also need to confirm by e-mailing, again in Russian only, to elvirka27@gmail.com because I want to be sure that you are the only one who collects my money.

Sweetheart swine, I am honest and I am sure we will have a great life together because I am honest. My family all send you their greetings. They are so happy that you have sent me this letter ........ the first of many I am sure.. I don't just fall in love with anyone, So you must be very special. I know you are a good person.

Do you like money asshole? I think money is sooo cool. Anyway, through destiny, it is so nice to meet you, simply a piece of shit. I won't slow you down any longer. I am sure you are rushing straight to the embassy, collect the money, and transfer all your love to me in return, because I know you want us to be together. I know I may be a little forward, Oh! My pounding heart I have waited all my life for you Kozel!

Darling nasty scammer, I am anxious for you be in perfect shape for me. Do you like yoga? I will teach you a very good position. Stand straight spread your legs, make sure you are completely naked. Then bend down completely forward, so that your breasts and head are clearly visible from behind, wrapping your arms tightly around your legs, thrusting your shoulders through your legs. Exactly as you would be presenting yourself to me, showing your ass, face, pussy and breasts, to the camera, take lots of sexy pictures and send me immediately. I look forward meeting you and wait impatiently for our first night together ! ! I am sure you know that I am not nasty, but naughty, as the time has just arrived to let our fantasies run wild. Remember, I am your boyfriend, you are on your way to come live with me. Soon you will sleep in my bed, we will make love and I will see you naked each day it cannot be a lot to ask of my girlfriend for nude photos. You will break my heart if you do not send me your nude pictures soon.

My precious bastard, I have even more good news. I am going to the bank next Friday when I get my salary, and will draw a cheque for $ 2000. That way you can buy yourself some nice stuff before you fly here, or you can give some to your mother. I am looking forward to see you in the sexy lingerie you will buy in Moscow. Then as soon as I receive your photos I will take the cheque to Western Union and transfer this extra money to you. Let me know what your flight details are once you have booked the tickets. I want to pick you up at the airport. You will probably be tired after the long flight. I will take you to my place where you can rest. Then I will show what my city looks like. It is a very nice city, far more beautiful than Yoshkar-Ola. We can even eat at a Russian restaurant. For me it will be very important that you keep in touch with your Russian culture and language - because that is part of who you are.

You are my dream ........ Dirty scumbag, today I am also going to buy some nice things for my house. I want the soon to be our house to look nice for you ! I will buy some new curtains and maybe a few nice rugs and paintings. What is your favorite color? As soon as possible we need to get you a driver's license - then you drive my 2nd car - It is only a Rolls Royce :( My other car is a Lamborghini - but that is my car :-) I am very excited about meeting you. Come to me soon my love ! !

Lovely shit, let us hope that this is just the start of something very beautiful. I can feel it deep down in me. Please hurry my balls, I want this news to work so much it touches you emotionally ! ! Honey, rush to the embassy now for me.

I love you to death, my Sweetie, Kozel! .......... As my only hope, you are my great big cartoon dollar sign. Aren't You? Yes you are .......

My sexy ass, naked pictures with your friends too is OK. You know, pillow fighting and all that works for me.
Lots of kisses to you

Hurry now sweetie. I love youuuuuuuuuuu ! ! !

Your and ONLY YOUR eternal Boyfriend.
2009-09-03, 16:02:41
OJAS from United States  
Ukrainian translation usually scammers send 4-5 mails with pix of drop dead models. Then they ask translation money to continue sending more revealing pix. When they ask for money, send Grande Finale in Cyrillic, in the next article. Grande Finale pix are in http://www.delphifa..p=9#168645 Grande Finale Translation follows.
2009-09-03, 16:02:48   (updated: 2009-09-03, 16:08:27)
OJAS from United States  
Моя Желанная любовь,

Радость моя безгранична видеть, как Вы выражаете мне свою любовью Я чувствую это, но нет таких слов, чтобы выразить свои чувства к Вам. Что-то внутри меня подсказывает, что у нас с Вами общая судьба. Вы знаете, что наши чувства были взаимны и мы теперь должны продолжить нашу переписку на языке, который мы предпочитаем оба - на русском, без кого-то другого, имеющего доступ к нашей личной переписке.

Если же Вы предпочитаете другой язык, я могу, чтобы угодить Вам, перейти на английский, французский, немецкий, голландский, испанский, итальянский и многие другие языки, поскольку я являюсь владельцем компании, которая занимается переводами на протяжении нескольких лет. немедленно пошли своего переводчика в Задница. нам не нужен переводчик пидар гнойный в нашей постели между нами!

Мое сердце бьется сильнее каждый раз, когда я жду от тебя известий. Милая, я был шокирован, когда узнал, что твой хохол-переводчик вытворяет с тобой! Немедленно избавься от этого отродья, который даже не может написать мне на русском, но при этом убивает английский без всякой на то вины. Моя любовь, у меня был сердечный приступ, когда я понял, какой это грязный поддонок, с которым ты имела дело. Но не беспокойся, дорогая, сейчас я чувствую себя лучше потому, что ты можешь продолжить писать мне на русском языке, который я знаю, и ты согласишься с тем, что он намного романтичнее, чем английский язык.

Тем не менее, тебе следует настаивать на очень профессиональном переводе, которым я тебя обеспечу, и который ты в полной мере заслуживаешь.

Ты получишь удовольствие от приведенных ниже моих расценок:

Пожалуйста, ниже приведены мои тарифы для Вас, и не стесняйся показать их подругам, которые также могут захотеть заняться со мной любовью на разных языках. Если они свяжутся со мной по твоей рекомендации, я даже предоставлю им специальное предложение: буду принимать плату в размере 450 € (евро) вместо 450 $ за 3 месяца безлимитный тариф).

И, наконец, я принимаю плату в размере 450 £ фунтов стерлингов (Великобритания), вместо 450 $ за 3 месяца от Вас лично. Имейте в виду, что предложение по £ фунтам стерлингов не распространяется на других.

Тарифы на перевод:
а. простой перевод

1 слово - 0,05 $
Обыкновенные письмо 200 - 300 слов будет стоить Вам - 10-15 $
Примечание: Этот метод широко используется в большинстве международных компаний, но это дороже, чем остальные, как Вы увидите далее.
b. сложный перевод письма:
1 письмо - 5-10 $: * письмо от 1-150 слов - 5 $
* письмо от 150-300 слов - 7 $
* письмо в 300 и более слов - 10 $
картинки: * сканирование одной фотографии - 2 $
* печать одной фотографии - 3 $
c. расчет (платный) (включая службу сканирования и печати фотографий):
* один месяц неограниченного перевода - 200 $
* два месяца неограниченной переписки - 350 $
* три месяца неограниченное корреспонденции - 500 $
d. расчет (платный) (НЕ включая службы сканирования и печати фотографий):
* один месяц неограниченного перевода - 150 $
* два месяца неограниченной переписки - 300 $
* три месяца неограниченное корреспонденции - 450 $
примечание: все платежи приводятся в долларах США
Можно также выбрать способ внесения платежей:
Вы можете направить оплату по названию компании финансовому директору
Вы можете направить оплату на имя этой дамы, на которую Вы ссылаетесь
Платежи могут быть направлены:
через отделения Вестерн Юнион
через отделения Мани Грам
на банковский счет компании финансового директора нашей компании.

Чтобы воспользоваться отделениями Вестерн Юнион или Мани Грам, Вам потребуется следующая информация:
имя получателя: Ю. Джерков
адрес получателя: 69 С. Каммер улица, Луганск, Украина 91111

Для дальнейшего получения информации смело пользуйтесь моей электронной почтой, чтобы избежать оплаты сбора за пользование иностранным языком.

Моя плата является договорной, ты можешь позвонить по телефону +1 809 496 2700

С нетерпением жду Ваш ответ как можно скорее,

Поспеши теперь милая.
2009-09-03, 16:02:55
OJAS from United States  
My Most Dearly Love,

My joy knew no bounds seeing you express your love I kind of felt, but did not know how to express. Some inner feeling tells me of our shared destiny. As you know, our feelings have been mutual and we should henceforth continue our correspondence in our preferred language, Russian only, and without anyone else having access to our private correspondence. Should you however prefer a different language, I can oblige you in English, French, German, Dutch, Spanish, Italian and many more languages, since I have been the owner of a translation company for several years.

Every moment I wait to hear from you, my heart pounds harder. Sweetheart, I was shocked to see what your translator retard has been doing to you. Immediately get rid of that bastard, who cannot even write to me in Russian, but murders English for no fault of its! Immediately kick your translator in the ass. We don't want a translator gonorrheal faggot between us in our bed!

My love, I had a heart attack when I realised what a scumbag you were dealing with. But do not worry honey, I am feeling better now, since you can continue writing me in Russian, which I know and you will agree, is far more romantic, than English. Should you however insist on translation, I shall gladly provide a very professional translation service you fully deserve. My rates below for your pleasure:

Please find below my fee structure for you, and feel free to share it with your friends who may also want me to make love in several languages. If they contact me with your reference, I shall even give them a special consideration accepting 450 € (euro) instead of 450$ for 3 months unlimited.

And finally I shall gladly accept 450 £ (British) instead of 450$ for 3 months from you and you alone. Please be advised that the £ offer does not apply to others.

a. word by word translation:
1 word – 0.05 $
Ordinary letter of 200 – 300 words will cost you – 10-15$
Note: This method is commonly used in most of the international companies, but it is more expensive than the rest as you will see further.
b. complex letter translation:
1 letter – 5-10$: * letter of 1-150 words – 5$
* letter of 150-300 words – 7$
* letter of 300 and over words – 10$
pictures: * scanning of one picture - 2$
* printing of one picture - 3$
c. monthly rate (fee) (including the service of scanning and printing pictures):
* one month of unlimited translation – 200$
* two months of unlimited correspondence – 350$
* three months of unlimited correspondence – 500$
d. monthly rate (fee) ( NOT including the service of scanning and printing pictures):
* one month of unlimited translation – 150$
* two months of unlimited correspondence – 300$
* three months of unlimited correspondence – 450$
note: all of the payments are given in USD
You can also choose your way of making the payments:
you can forward the payment to the name of my company's financial director;
you can forward the payment from the name of the individual you are currently with, Payments can be forwarded:
through the Western Union Departments ;
through the Money Gram Departments;
to the bank account of my company's financial director.

To use the Western Union or Money Gram offices, you will need the following information:
name of recipent: Ewe. Gerkov
address of recipient: 69 S. Cammer Street, Lugansk, Ukraine 91111

For further information feel free continue using e-mail in Russian to avoid foreign language fees.

My fee is negotiable if you call +1 809 496 2700

Eagerly anticipating your prompt response,

Your and ONLY YOUR eternal Boyfriend.
2009-09-03, 19:08:03
BadDog from United States  
From BadDog:

Hey OJAS! You are truly one sick puppy; I love it! Thank you!
This image was also posted here:
Dating scammer Howard Davis
How to stop identity thieves dead in their tracks



Keywords:
2009-09-04, 02:37:18
[hidden]  
rating
2009-09-16, 09:54:48
OJAS from United States  
Copy / Paste, very little editing, save time, a good form-letter introduction you can send your Boris http://www.delphifa..581#171101
2009-10-24, 17:30:19
OJAS from United States  
For making clowns, use this as a reference http://www.delphifa..=8#102814

1) Use their OWN face
2) Add a clown hat http://images.googl..clown+hat
3) Add a clown nose http://images.googl..lown+nose
4) Add gray around eyes and black next to gray http://images.googl..lown+face
5) For Grande Finale, take the newly made clown with their own face, and replace in http://www.delphifa..p=8#102814
2010-02-18, 15:00:35
Scambay Terr  
Here's one for the 419ers from http://breakfastwit..-idi.html. Probably not much good for Vodka Boris, but he probably won't notice if you send it anyways.

From: idiamin@***
To: adlineokutay1@yahoo.co.in
Sent: Wed, Oct 28, 2009 9:42 pm
Subject: Re: From Adline Okuta

Dearest Adline:

By the glory of god, I was eager to received your message, for we are much in commons. I am YAPHET MBONGO KOTTO, born of 32 years to MANDINA MALIAMU NAKOLI, of which the concubine to HIS EXCELLENCY THE PRESIDENT IDI AMIN DADA. It was that this woman betrayed my father to his enemies for which treachery he consumed her before he was forced to leave the country of his home. As was I but 2 years of this time, she before losing her head to the dogs sent me away from the palace with relatives who gave upon me this name and kept hidden from me my heritage.

It was not until me of 26 years that I was brought to my father to learn of all this history. I was 3 months in my father's home at this time he being soon to die of many years life. He told me of his greatness and wonderful things he was done for his great nation as such the great leader, and before that, of many his exploits and adventures he being youthful. He was told me also of the ways of man and women, he having of many wives and concubines, and of the great honour to keeping fresh the heads of which were faithful always to him. These days was I spent with my father of his last were most wonderful time of ever my life! Even did he share his concubines with me!

It was passed then that was he weak with age and died in his bed. Was it then after that from his manservant did give me such a letter which was instructed by my father that I receive after his being died. Letter of which he was told me of when he has forced to leave his homeland of great haste, he was hidden of a secure storage chest of gold bullion of which was for him smuggled out of the country and then placed in a security vault in your country, of which value now TEN MILLION NINE-HUNDREED AND TWENTY THOUSAND USD.

This letter of him did provide instructions to retrieve this gold from the vault in your country, of which must be done by one in person with these instructions. Thus I beg of you, for it were a miracle you wrote to me, to carry out these instructions which I will provide you and for which I will help you with retrieving your money as well, following such you may come here as my concubine and I will practice all that which my father has taught me and keep fresh your head forever.

Hoping much to hear from you soon

Yaphet Mbongo Kotto
2010-02-18, 15:23:59   (updated: 2010-02-18, 15:29:59)
Scambay Terr  
Here's one for Boris. This one's still active, about a week past the automated stage now.

From:
To: irinakiss58@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue, Feb 2, 2010 7:39 am
Subject: Re: You receive new Messages

Dear Irina:

I am happy to receive your letter and even more happy to see another beautiful picture of you. It is hard to believe you have told me you are lonely, as I think every man in our town would be lined up for you, unless they are eunuchs. To answer your question, Irina, yes I like to dream I like to dream of faraway places and Indy car races, I like to dream of meeting the girls that is right and things that go bump in the night, but mostly I like to dream of beautiful Russian girls with enchanting eyes that will fall in love with me by email and come and live with me and that I can show off to my friends and relatives and total strangers and that will be completely subservient to me and fulfill all my fantasies and make me the happiest man in all the world. I do like your imagination, and I like that you like nature and floating on the river and performing fellatio and BBQ. Tell me do you like my imagaination? I can imagine that we are on a picnic in the woods, and we will share a bottle of wine and you will get drunk and pass out and I will love you in ways you have never been loved before that would be very annoying if you were awake and fill you up until you are overflowing. I can imagine so many more things that we will do together, but mostly things I will do to you and you will beg for more because you are a beautiful Russian girl and I am a fat little bald man with a very unpleasant and malodorous skin condition and it is the dream of every gorgeous Russian girl pretty enough to be a model to move to United States and be a trophy wife and arm candy and sex slave of a man who couldn't get laid with a suitcase full of cash in Vegas and who lost his virginity to an automaton named Roxxxy with life-like synthetic skin that hides an anatomically correct articulated skeleton that replicates human movements, and has a mechanical heart that’s responsible for powering an internal liquid cooling system and touch sensors at strategic locations and can sense when it's being moved and has many other life-like features and retails for seven grand but will soon be available used on ebay for a few hundred (disinfection kit extra) if this works out for you and me Irina because there's nothing like the real thing or so I've heard and I know that you are the real thing because you did not send the pictures taken just for me that I asked for because you probably found it insulting that I would ask you to prove that you really are the hot Russian blonde with the legs that go on forever and the eyes that hypnotize me into believing anything you tell me. True love is based on faith and hope and delusion and trust and I am sure we will find it together.

To answer your question about my parents, my mother was a tailor she sewed my new bluejeans my father was a gamblin' man down in New Orleans now the only thing a gambler needs is a suitcase and trunk and the only time he's satisfied is when he's on a drunk and I was born in a house in New Orleans they call the Rising Sun and it's been the ruin of many a poor boy and God I know I'm one but all that will change now that I've met you Irina who I think will be the love of my life and will do all the things that the warning label said my last grlfriend couldn't do, and we will be happy together. Please write back soon and tell me more about yourself and I will make up more stuff about me and send me more pictures and I will laminate them so they don't get all sticky and hold them close to my heart and other places.
John

I sent the picture below two emails later with the following:

I see that you send a picture with another girl. Is it possible I can have both of you? She is not as pretty as you but I always say two heads is better than one, and she does have nice lips. For now, I send special picture of just you and me.


It got Boris' attention, but didn't slow things down. From the end of the subsequent form letter:

ps Please do not send me more such photos, I'm not nice! In our country it is not accepted!




Keywords:
2010-02-18, 15:58:35   (updated: 2010-02-18, 15:59:07)
[hidden] from Canada  
subscribing
2010-02-19, 21:51:26
OJAS from United States  
2010-02-20, 09:24:50   (updated: 2010-02-20, 09:29:13)
Scambay Terr  
When Borisina asks what qualities you like in a woman, it is important to be clear about your requirements. Given the difficulties in translation, a picture is sometimes helpful. (Hope it doesn't violate policy.)

I must see that you are able to do this so I will be sure I will not break you. Not matter if you cannot reach all the way with face like that, important is for feet behind head.


@OJAS
Thanks for the links, as always.


Keywords:
2010-02-20, 11:44:36   (updated: 2010-02-20, 11:47:31)
OJAS from United States  
You are on page 10 of 17, other pages: 1 2 3 7 8 9 [10] 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

 

 

Are you being scammed and this is your first visit here?
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