DelphiFAQ Home Search:

Primer for first time visitors (Dating Scams)

 

comments2437 comments. Current rating: 5 stars (345 votes). Leave comments and/ or rate it.

The following text was submitted by Eddie from Sweden and the links at the bottom come from OJAS in the USA.

Welcome to any newcomers who find this thread, for Christ's sake.. READ THIS!
...and save yourself a lot of homework and/or grief

SOME GENERAL INFO ABOUT RUSSIAN GIRLS, AND HOW TO SPOT RUSSIAN DATING SCAMMERS:

The vast majority of Russian dating scammers are not women at all, but actually men, mostly working in small gangs in or around Yoshkar Ola, in Mari El republic, sometimes in Chuvashia. It's virtually guaranteed that the girls in these scam pics aren't involved because the scammers steal their pics from the internet or pay unsuspecting friends for them, or buy and exchange them on scammer websites. (Once a scammer even admitted to me that he stole all his pics from army-of-brides.com and mamba.ru ).

Most scammers are VERY lazy and looking for quick cash. They use email extractor programs to get your mail addresses (if you don't have a profile on a dating site, that is)...
http://www.webextractor.com/
and copied form mails and spam programs on automatic reply, very often the BAT!, which can personalize small parts of each letter.
http://www.ritlabs.com/en/products/thebat/


They mostly won't read your letters until after the money letter because they don't have time, ie because they're scamming, or trying to scam, as many guys as they can (economies of scale).....and also because they're semi-literate losers who can't speak much English anyway. IN OTHER WORDS, you can write any crap in your replies and they won't react, they're only interested when they're curious to know if you've taken the bait after the money letter. A girl is only involved either occasionally to phone a guy up, especially if he's suspicious, or to pick up the loot at Western Union, with a false ID of course!

More recently, the majority of Russian scammers have started using proxy servers or forged IPs to hide their locations so ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IS TRACE THEIR IP ADDRESS!

If, by any chance, you don't believe any of this, please read: http://www.cheboksaryrussia.net/russian-scams/russian-scammers.html

So....if several or more of the following scam signs apply to your Boris (the beautiful Russian 'girl' that is supposedly writing to you), resist the temptation to help 'the poor girl' by sending her money. You're really writing to a sleazy Russian guy sitting in a smoky room in Yoshkar Ola, with a bunch of other sleazy guys spamming indiscriminately on laptops .

  • 'girl' writes to you first on a dating site...especially a free one (or an email appears out of nowhere in your mailbox). Real Russian girls are rarely so bold as to write to you first. (unless you're obviously very attractive or rich :))) They will often reply to your mails, but rarely take the initiative. It's the man who does the chasing in Russia. Plus, if they're looking for a partner, they generally prefer him to be Russian speaking and live in Russia. Much more convenient!

  • doesn't answer direct questions (sometimes factual mistakes in the letter). Her replies should be exactly that...replies...however short they are.

  • girl's much too young for you (or too good to be true/looks like a model/porno star)....although I have noticed a recent tendency for some scammers to use photos of slightly 'less attractive' girls as well.

  • girl has some far-fetched excuses for you not visiting her in Russia (criminal city, not the Russian custom, terrorism, it's her dream to come to your country, etc). ALL BULLSHIT!! Actually, the normal way to meet a Russian girl is to visit her in her city first. Russian TV is full of documentaries about Russian girls who have emigrated and got murdered, abandoned, etcetc. They should usually want to meet you first before they gallivant off to your country.

  • scammers rarely have children, but most of the real Russian women I've ever met on the internet did (except for Moscow career girls). It's often the reason that they're looking for a partner.

  • photos are too revealing (can't be a respectable girl). Respectability is very important to most Russian women (especially Moscow career girls). They're hardly likely to send a half-naked photo to a virtual stranger on the internet. Think about it!

  • most of the pics are old and a little bit faded with a curiously grainy quality that soon becomes quite easy to recognise (overuse?). Again a scammer admitted to me that low-quality photos are a key factor in his scamming. I found this curious because a serious Russian girl who's looking for a partner very often saves up and goes to a professional to have a studio set done (often corny ones posing with a chair etc), and/or borrows a digicam at least (dates should also be on the photos you receive). My fiance did it. Russian girls aren't all that poor anymore, and if they seriously want to leave Russia, they know that posting cheap pics will only attract cheap guys.

  • GIRL CLAIMS NOT TO HAVE A MOBILE PHONE. Very unlikely!!! fer f***'s sake.....do you know a single girl without a mobile phone? Even poor Russian girls can't do without one, they're much cheaper than in Europe and a Megafon telephone card doesn't cost that much either. You should be able to call her whenever you want. On the other hand, not having a landline or a desktop/laptop is very common.

  • very long rambling/ecstatic form letters with a strange format, punctation and layout written in scamlish. (world's worst Babelfish translation)

  • writes long letters everyday in English. How does she have time to write those long letters if she's working? And if she doesn't have a job, how can she afford a computer + internet connection? Even Internet cafs are relatively expensive in Russia. Anyway, most Russians outside Moscow can hardly speak a word of English. (What's the point of finding a girl you can't communicate with, at least on a basic level?) PLUS.. if she can't speak English, why does she have a non-cyrillic email account like gmail or yahoo? Most real Russians use mail.ru, yandex.ru or inbox.ru....though hotmail and yahoo are acceptable if she'll chat with you on messenger (preferably with a webcam).

  • falls in 'love' very quickly. Don't let your ego, kind heart, loneliness or lust pull the wool over your eyes. She doesn't really know you. You could be an axe murderer for all she knows. As I mentioned, Russian TV is full of documentaries about Russian girls who have emigrated and got murdered, abandoned, etcetc.

  • uses a proxy server to hide his/her location, ie a SOCKS server / GPRS Internet. if you can't trace 'her' IP, it's 100% scam.
    THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD DO IS TRACE HER IP ADDRESS. In fact, it's the only thing you need to do really.

    MOST IMPORTANT...if you get this far:

  • she asks for money for a tourist 'visa' and/or maybe tickets, ignoring the fact that IT'S VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SINGLE, POOR RUSSIAN GIRL TO GET A TOURIST VISA TO A WESTERN COUNTRY!
    Most Russian girls outside Moscow and St Petersburg are quite poor, and immigration control would consider them an overstay risk. They would never let be let into your country without a healthy bank account.

    She can get a SPONSORED visa with your help, but then she needs a personal letter of invitation from you, a copy of your passport, a proof of your residence in your home country, a completed sponsor's application form (also from you)....not including the documents that she has to fill in herself. She also needs a job in Russia, a letter from her employer and insurance. All of these documents she has to drop off at your national embassy in Moscow WITH PREPAID TICKETS and wait about 10 working days. These are the rules for the Schengen countries anyway...the USA and Canada are almost as, if not more, complicated. Anyway, a normal TOURIST visa + travel costs + hotel rooms would set her back 2000+ US dollars for a trip to the US. She should be asking you for a lot of money! Why should it be so easy for a gorgeous sexy Russian girl just to jump on a plane and fall into bed with you? Anyway, no respectable Russian girl would ask directly for money, but might accept some if you insisted.

NB...you should check your national embassy website in Moscow for visa prices and procedures.
UK: http://www.ukvac-ru.com/document.aspx
USA: http://moscow.usembassy.gov/consular/consular.php?record_id=reqvdocs

There are many variations on the scams, some quite slight. Some scammers claim to have a visa already and need money for tickets, a last-minute medical examination, etcetc. Some claim that their mother needs an operation, etcetc. A few more patient and professional scammers will take months before they hit you with the money letter (though if you follow my tips, you should be able to spot the scammers before then). There are even a few real girls scamming, and professional gold-diggers (mostly in the Ukraine). One or two of them are very bold, and not even afraid to use their true identities. These scammers are harder to spot, and there is no easy way to identify them, all you can do is use your instincts and common sense, and DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

and, of course, a golden rule: DON'T SEND MONEY...unless you're 100% sure she's real.

Another ground rule: if you are looking for a Russian wife/partner, you must be prepared to travel to Russia to meet her. You also need to behave generously towards her; after all, you need to prove that you can support here (and her kids) if she migrates to your country. But if she turns out to be a professional gold-digger, which has never happened to me personally or anyone I know (but I know it does happen), you should try to be philosophical and treat it as an exotic trip to a foreign country, have fun anyway, and try not to waste too much money on her.

There are actually hundreds of perfectly nice Russian girls in Russia but you have to be prepared to go and get them. Chercher la femme. It certainly worked for me.




Content-type: text/html

Comments:

You are on page 88 of 163, other pages: 1 2 3 85 86 87 [88] 89 90 91 160 161 162 163
2009-10-24, 04:29:28
wanwan from Japan  
2009-10-25, 04:04:09
Magnus from Tby, Sweden  
writes to the thread of anna ogannisyan.see you there,guys.regards from sweden.
2009-10-25, 08:52:00
harleydyna1340  
hey guys if you nail roseline paul you can count on me to help to you prosicute. she\he got me for a lot of money and i want to get my revenge. thanks harleydyna1340


Keywords:
2009-10-25, 09:32:41
OJAS from United States  
harley 2009-10-25, 08:52:00, Is she kelseyxxx? http://www.delphifa..p=0#152003
2009-10-25, 16:45:32
anonymous from United States  
Hey Harleydyna1340,
I got scammed too but I'm afraid its a lost cause getting your money back. Good luck if you do. I got scammed by a Brittany Casey, she claimed she needed money for food. And yet when she sent me these beautiful, expensive photos of her. It made me question her. How can a person who has no money for food, be able too afford makeup, hair, ect. for the photos taken. As a photographer, I saw something fishy about that. After going on this site, I was able too find the real Brittany. I told her the problem, that someone was using her likeness, but it eas already too late, I'll never get my money back. So good luck if you do. Best wishes.
Andy
2009-10-25, 22:59:35
anonymous from United States  
HELLO, ANYONE OUT THERE KNOW A DR LAURA POWERS? SHE CLAIMED TO BE WORKING AS A DOCTOR FOR UNICEF, IN NIGERIA. SHE WAS ALMOST DONE WITH HER CONTRACT AND CLAIMED SHE AND THE OTHER DOCTORS WERE ROBBED ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE FIELD. SHE SAID SHE NEEDED MONEY TO GET BACK TO THE USA. HERE ID WAS STOLEN ALONG WITH HER MONEY AND CREDIT CARDS. I APPRECIATE ANY HELP
2009-10-26, 03:06:48
Agent 86 from Salem, United States  
rating
2009-10-25, 22:59:35
anonymous from United States

Hello The only thing that is certain from what, You posted is.
This is a scam and I can only Hope, You did not believe a single word of it.
When, You feel like talking again please come back and post all about this scam.
e mail address with header and as much detail about the scam as possible.
If, You for some insane reason do not know its a scam then come back
and we can help Prove to, You its a scam.


Kind Regards Agent 86 Maxwell Smart \\'^o^'// <><
2009-10-26, 15:16:58
anonymous from United States  
Have a scammer emailing me as General George Casey and his son Micheal Casey. Micheal Casey is from Vancouver. George has been emailing for 6 weeks, and his son Micheal too. Today George said he is worried that Micheal will lose his 'land' near Croatia if he is unable to get enough money. Guess that is a red flag. George has been emailing me about how much he loves me and we will be together when he retires in February. I guess I'm pretty naive. Met him on Match.com and then he removed his profile immediately. A lot of heavy love letters that make me wish he was real - but I don't think he is. Just a money digger.
2009-10-26, 20:15:28   (updated: 2009-10-26, 20:17:00)
Agent 86 from Salem, United States  
rating
2009-10-26, 15:16:58
anonymous from United States

Hello Anonymous Please be informed You most likely were not connected
to anyone except a scammer from Nigeria no matter what You were led to
believe.
There are many scams right now where they involve Service men.
Please post the e mail address and header here with Your personal
information removed.
That way it can be determined where You actually were contacted from.
This also will help reduce the use of innocent Service Men and Woman
by scammers.
Please never post Your e mail address on this site.
Never mention this site to a scammer.
Please take some time now to learn about scams and scammers.
Most of the time scammers do not just give up.
You may be scammed again very soon because they have your information.
They use many fake or stolen ID's They have many e mail addresses.
It is nearly impossible to stop them getting around being blocked.
All they do is use another set of information.

Please check out the links, I will provided for You.

From the BBC
http://www.youtube...1BoO2uL2Y

Article from The LA Times
http://www.latimes...315.story

Video about Mugu [ Gullible White Fool ]
http://www.youtube...ure=email

I hope You remain safe from scammers.
Kind Regards Agent 86 Maxwell Smart \\'^o^'// <><
2009-10-27, 17:40:08   (updated: 2009-10-27, 17:41:36)
anonymous  
Hello girls allover
I want to warn you about Mohamad Mashaleh, he is from Jordan, and he is sooooooooooooo nice, he is 42 years old, he is married, but he is looking for foreign women to scam, he has scammed atleat 2 women, god knows how many though, he has nothing, not a dime, but he will love you sooo much in the scond or the third email
so be on alert
He has many email adresses like:honestwu@hotmail.com, hopeitisyou@yahoo.com and many more, he usually use this pic, its a old pic of him
2009-10-27, 17:43:08   (updated: 2009-10-27, 17:44:52)
anonymous  
2009-10-28, 18:38:36
anonymous  
triste storia, ragazza Katy meteleva.

http://rbrides.com/..?id=317880


Keywords:
2009-10-28, 21:22:34
Jerry from Bangkok, Thailand  
rating
I have a few suggestions that may help to reduce the risk of being scammed.

The first is about 'due dilligence'. Anyone who deals with business or money is always supposed to do some background research to ascertain the genuineness of the deal and/or the ability of the associate to implement the agreement, whether it's employing someone to do a job, lending money to someone or buying something from a supplier, etc.

So why shouldn't it be different for a personal relationship? Women do it all the time, almost instintually: are you a stable character (drink in moderation, successful at work, can earn decent money, doesn't gamble it away, is non-violent, etc.) and are you good and kind with children?

RULE NUMBER 1. Before you go any further with a girl, get her telephone number - usually a cell/mobile. Don't accept any excuses. Everybody in the world who has learnt some English can afford a cheap phone. In Thailand, you can buy a brand new phone for $20. In 'poor' countries, you can buy second-hand ones for a lot less. A pre-pay sim card costs another $5, and usually comes with a bit of credit. She can call you but so long as you don't answer and just call back, it will cost her nothing more.

If she is serious then she will find the money or ask a friend/relative to help her buy a phone. I know girls who earn not much more than $150 a month, living on their own (and so paying half their money on a room and electricity), who wouldn't be prepared to live without a phone.

And make sure you get to chat to her on videocam - MSN, Yahoo, Skype, etc. Internet cafes are everywhere. Sometimes it's a bit expensive. In Thailand, you can find internet cafes in the poorest areas, costing about 25 cents an hour.

Again, if she is serious and genuine, she will take the time to spend at hour with you chatting online, so that you can see her 'in the flesh' and she can see you.

The moment someone says to you that she can't use a phone (even a friends???) or there's something wrong with the webcam or there is no cafe nearby is a scammer. If she is genuine then she will find a way. After all, she sent you an email, didn't she? She's already pretty internet savvy. And if her friend sent the email then her friend can set it up for her.

RULE NUMBER 2. Don't send money! At least not without first following rule number 1 first.

If you ARE going to send money:
i. Only send a little at a time - maybe $25 to get a new phone, or a bit of cash to pay for SMSes to you, or to pay for internet time if the girl is genuinely poor. And then wait to see how the relationship develops. If she's still talking to you after a month, then you can send another $25 or so. Never enough to make it interesting to a scammer (usually around $500+).

ii. Never use Western Union (possibly the other fast cash services also). WU is a sophisticated operation that tacitly encourages this kind of fraud. They are strictly-speaking accessories to fraud, but they won't admit it of course.

How it works is that they will give money to anyone who can provide a low-level form of ID so long as the amount is below $800. They do not make any checks. They say that they assume that you already know the person, and they have advised you not to send money to someone you don't know. Good advice, but also a clever way of wriggling out of their responsibilities. They know what goes on, but they make a lot of money out of the commission. So they don't want to stamp out this kind of scam.

It may be useful if as many people as possible complained to WU customerservice@westernunion.com, as well as yahoo (for allowing a scammers account to stay open) mail-abuse@cc.yahoo-inc.com and hotmail, or whoever the email provider is for the girl who wrote to you and attempted (or succeeded!) to scam you.

And also complain to your local better business bureau and newspapers and political figures, e.g. stnews@telegraph.co.uk, editor@ft.com; letters@economist.com; online.editor@timesonline.co.uk.

The more pressure influential people and organizations get, the more they will help to clamp down on this kind of scam. The problem is that scammers target lonely, gullible and trusting people. We are all gullible and trusting. (We trust our government and banks to keep the economy going so that we can have jobs. We trust our doctors to give us the right treatments!? We trust teachers to give our children a 'useful' education!? Think about it...) It's only when we get cheated that we begin to realize our mistake. So everybody in society is responsible for protecting people from unscrupulous con artists.

But at the end of the day, you need to check things for yourself. Nothing is so urgent that it cannot wait a few weeks, especially with someone you've only met on the internet. (And even if you've met someone in person fairly recently. Sickness and desperate circumstances are always suspect - most people already have friends and family they can go to if they are desperate.) If it is a genuine situation (unlikely) then tell the person to borrow the money and you will reimburse them later.

RULE NUMBER 3. Get proof of identity.
Before you part with any kind of money at all or take the plunge of going to visit someone, you MUST first establish the person's true identity. Only refugees have no identity (and some scammers do pretend they are refugees). But even then they can get a letter from the UN (which you should follow up by contacting the genuine office as advertised on their global website, etc.)

If you are going to send money (again, it nearly always boils down to sending money eventually), ONLY send it to a genuine bank account. No matter how poor or desperate you are, anywhere in the world, you can always set up some kind of a bank account - even if it just a government savings account.

If she 'doesn't have one' insist that your girl sets up a savings account and send you the actual savings book. If she is genuine then she is likely to make the effort (but she could still be a 'freelance' scammer, so be wary nevertheless).

A bank will not open an account for someone who can't provide proof of their identity and address.

Now, you also need other forms of identity. Some people always don't have the regular documents, like an electricity bill in their name (because they pay the landlord directly). But they will have something, or you can at least get a bill of the person who owns/rents/lives in the same house as the girl. It could still be a scam, but someone who is prepared to send out an original bill (NOT A COPY) is more likely to be serious. After all, who's going to risk being the target of a police investigation.

Scammers are sophisticated, so check first. Do your due dilligence. Write to the person on the bill and wait for a reply. You can perhaps include a little bit of cash in the local currency to cover small expenses.

Ideally, you want some form of photographic proof of identity. Not everyone has passports, but many countries have ID cards with a photo. If your girl doesn't have one (and yes there are many people who have no ID), send her just enough cash to get the proper ID from the local government authorities. Do some background research beforehand to find out what she needs to do. She might have to apply for a certified copy of her birth certificate and then go to the registry office and/or police station.

And you also want some form of proof of address. Many people can't easily supply this, or are living in temporary accommodation (and can easily disappear). So get the address of the employer (and phone up the company and write to the sales department, etc.) and perhaps the address of the parents (who might not be alive of course....)

Build up a background picture of the girl that has a paper trail.

If she is genuine then she will understand and make the effort. If she is scamming you then will give up very quickly and go for easier prey. In any relationship, it is about building up trust through personal actions over time and developing a 'reputation' about your honesty and integrity. Even if it's the girl you met in your own home town.

She will want the same from you at some point. But that's outside the scope of this article, except be wary about divulging any information that could be used to cheat you or steal your identity or blackmail you in some way.

RULE NUMBER 4. Meet her in person. Very very few foreigners can hop on a plane and come and visit you in your country. There is another posting above about the difficulties of obtaining visas. A single girl visiting Europe or USA is unlikely to be allowed in, unless she can genuinely show her intent in the country - usually to study at university or to visit family.

So you must go and meet her. If you are genuinely interested in a relationship with a foreign girl from Russia or Ghana or Thailand or wherever then you need to make the effort to go and visit her in person. People are rarely what they seem on the internet, once you meet them in person.

So you might even want to set up meetings with a few girls! :o Indeed, there are even dating agencies in Russia and Thailand where they introduce you to dozens of girls in person, kind of like speed-dating, and if you both hit if off then you enter into a formal relationship on a trial basis before taking it further.

The cost of being there is considerably less than forking out money to an 'avatar' on the internet. (Although, it can get very expensive if you start buying cars and property in the girl's name. Some girls are genuine, sweet, honest, loyal. And some are so sophisticated that they will be all of these things for five years or more, and then suck you clean of all your money and assets. And maybe take your children with her as well. So only spend what you can afford to lose.) Remember, other cultures don't think as we do about love and loyalty. To many cultures, marriage and relationships are commercial arrangements for the sake of the girl's family and for the physical well-being of her offspring. We in the West have forgotten that it's very similar for us too, but we don't call it that. In other countries, Westerners are a safer bet - because many of us have more earning power and tend to care for our children and their future than the men back home.

It's a mine field - anywhere in the world.

So take some chances, risk getting hurt, keep an open mind, but be wary. Only give what you can afford to lose.
2009-10-29, 01:37:44   (updated: 2009-10-29, 01:38:32)
Jerry from Bangkok, Thailand  
rating
I have a few suggestions that may help to reduce the risk of being scammed.

The first is about 'due diligence'. Anyone who deals with business or money is always supposed to do some background research to ascertain the genuineness of the deal and/or the ability of the associate to implement the agreement, whether it's employing someone to do a job, lending money to someone or buying something from a supplier, etc.

So why shouldn't it be different for a personal relationship? Women do it all the time, almost instinctually: are you a stable character (drink in moderation, successful at work, can earn decent money, doesn't gamble it away, is non-violent, etc.) and are you good and kind with children?

RULE NUMBER 1. Before you go any further with a girl, get her telephone number - usually a cell/mobile. Don't accept any excuses. Everybody in the world who has learnt some English can afford a cheap phone. In Thailand, you can buy a brand new phone for $20. In 'poor' countries, you can buy second-hand ones for a lot less. A pre-pay sim card costs another $5, and usually comes with a bit of credit. She can call you but so long as you don't answer and just call back, it will cost her nothing more.

If she is serious then she will find the money or ask a friend/relative to help her buy a phone. I know girls who earn not much more than $150 a month, living on their own (and so paying half their money on a room and electricity), who wouldn't be prepared to live without a phone.

And make sure you get to chat to her on webcam - MSN, Yahoo, Skype, etc. Internet cafes are everywhere. Sometimes it's a bit expensive. In Thailand, you can find internet cafes in the poorest areas, costing about 25 cents an hour. Again, if she is serious and genuine, she will take the time to spend at hour with you chatting online, so that you can see her 'in the flesh' and she can see you.

The moment someone says to you that she can't use a phone (even a friends???) or there's something wrong with the webcam or there is no cafe nearby is a scammer. If she is genuine then she will find a way. After all, she sent you an email, didn't she? She's already pretty internet savvy. And if her friend sent the email then her friend can set it up for her.

RULE NUMBER 2. Don't send money! At least not without first following rule number 1 first.

If you ARE going to send money:

i. Only send a little at a time - maybe $25 to get a new phone, or a bit of cash to pay for SMSes to you, or to pay for internet time if the girl is genuinely poor. And then wait to see how the relationship develops. If she's still talking to you after a month, then you can send another $25 or so. Never enough to make it interesting to a scammer (usually around $500+).

ii. Never use Western Union (possibly the other fast cash services also). Transfer money into a genuine bank account, even if it takes a bit longer. Western Union is a sophisticated operation that tacitly encourages this kind of fraud. They are strictly-speaking accessories to fraud, but they won't admit it of course. How it works is that they will give money to anyone who can provide a low-level form of ID so long as the amount is below $800. They do not make any checks. They say that they assume that you already know the person, and they have advised you not to send money to someone you don't know. Good advice, but also a clever way of wriggling out of their responsibilities.

They know what goes on, but they make a lot of money out of the commission. So they don't want to stamp out this kind of scam. It may be useful if as many people as possible complained to Western Union, customerservice@westernunion.com, as well as yahoo (for allowing a scammers account to stay open) mail-abuse@cc.yahoo-inc.com and hotmail, or whoever the email provider is for the girl who wrote to you and attempted (or succeeded!) to scam you. And also complain to your local better business bureau and newspapers and political figures, e.g. stnews@telegraph.co.uk, editor@ft.com; letters@economist.com; online.editor@timesonline.co.uk.

The more pressure influential people and organizations get, the more they will help to clamp down on this kind of scam. The problem is that scammers target lonely, gullible and trusting people. We are all gullible and trusting. (We trust our government and banks to keep the economy going so that we can have jobs. We trust our doctors to give us the right treatments!? We trust teachers to give our children a 'useful' education!? Think about it...)

It's only when we get cheated that we begin to realize our mistake. So everybody in society is responsible for protecting people from unscrupulous con artists.

But at the end of the day, you need to check things for yourself. Nothing is so urgent that it cannot wait a few weeks, especially with someone you've only met on the internet. (And even if you've met someone in person fairly recently, sickness and desperate circumstances are always suspect - most people already have friends and family they can go to if they are desperate.) If it is a genuine situation (unlikely) then tell the person to borrow the money and you will reimburse them later (ask for receipts).

RULE NUMBER 3. Get proof of identity. Before you part with any kind of money at all or take the plunge of going to visit someone, you MUST first establish the person's true identity. Only refugees have no identity (and some scammers do pretend they are refugees). But even then they can get a letter from the UN or the refugee agency (which you should follow up by contacting the genuine office as advertised on their global website, etc.) If you are going to send money (again, it nearly always boils down to sending money eventually), ONLY send it to a genuine bank account. No matter how poor or desperate she is, anywhere in the world, she can always set up some kind of a bank account - even if it just a government savings account.

If she “doesn't have one” then insist that your girl sets up a savings account and sends you the actual savings book. If she is genuine then she is likely to make the effort (but she could still be a 'freelance' scammer, so be wary nevertheless). A bank will not open an account for someone who can't provide proof of their identity and address.

Now, you also need other forms of identity. Some people don't always have the regular documents, like an electricity bill in their name (because they pay the landlord directly). But they will have something, or you can at least get a bill of the person who owns/rents/lives in the same house as the girl. It could still be a scam, but someone who is prepared to send out an original bill (NOT A COPY) is more likely to be serious. After all, who's going to risk being the target of a police investigation?

Scammers are sophisticated, so check first. Do your due diligence. Write to the person on the bill and wait for a reply. You can perhaps include a little bit of cash in the local currency to cover small expenses.

Ideally, you want some form of photographic proof of identity. Not everyone has passports, but many countries have ID cards with a photo. If your girl doesn't have one (and yes there are many people who have no ID), send her just enough cash to get the proper ID from the local government authorities. Do some background research beforehand to find out what she needs to do. She might have to apply for a certified copy of her birth certificate and then go to the registry office and/or police station...

And you also want some form of proof of address. Many people can't easily supply this, or are living in temporary accommodation (and can easily disappear). So get the address of the employer (and phone up the company and write to the sales department, etc.) and perhaps the address of the parents (who might not be alive of course...) Build up a background picture of the girl that has a paper trail. If she is genuine then she will understand and make the effort. If she is scamming you then will give up very quickly and go for easier prey. In any relationship, it is about building up trust through personal actions over time and developing a 'reputation' about your honesty and integrity. Even if it's the girl you met in your own home town.

She will want the same from you at some point. But that's outside the scope of this article, except be wary about divulging any information that could be used to cheat you or steal your identity or blackmail you in some way.

RULE NUMBER 4. Meet her in person. Very very few girls can hop on a plane and come and visit you in your country, even if she has the money. There is another posting above about the difficulties of obtaining visas. A single girl visiting Europe or USA is unlikely to be allowed in, unless she can genuinely show her intent in the country - usually to study at university or to visit family.

So you must go and meet her. If you are genuinely interested in a relationship with a foreign girl from Russia or Ghana or Thailand or wherever then you need to make the effort to go and visit her in person. People are rarely what they seem on the internet, once you meet them in person.

So you might even want to set up meetings with a few girls! :o Indeed, there are even dating agencies in Russia and Thailand where they introduce you to dozens of girls in person, kind of like speed-dating, and if you both hit if off then you enter into a formal relationship on a trial basis before taking it further.

I would go so far as to suggest that internet dating is a total waste of time unless you are in the country and can arrange to meet each other face to face. It may help to get to know a few people online first, but be prepared to visit the area several times and meeting/kissing a lot of frogs before choosing the girl for you. A poor, foreign girl is for life. Not just for Xmas 

The cost of being there is considerably less than forking out money to an 'avatar' on the internet. (Although, it can get very expensive if you start buying cars and property in the girl's name. Some girls are genuine, sweet, honest, loyal. And some are so sophisticated that they will be all of these things for five years or more, and then suck you clean of all your money and assets. And maybe take your children with her as well. So only spend what you can afford to lose.) Remember, other cultures don't think as we do about love and loyalty. To many cultures, marriage and relationships are commercial arrangements for the sake of the girl's family and for the physical well-being of her offspring. We in the West have forgotten that it's very similar for us too, but we don't call it that. In other countries, Westerners are a safer bet for many girls - because many of us have more earning power and tend to care for our children & their future more than the men back home.

Be also very much aware of cultural differences. Many girls will find living in your hometown overwhelmingly lonely and miserable, with no friends of their own and nothing to do. She will tire of the material comforts very quickly and can make your life equally miserable. You could find the girl of your dreams, but she might crumple up and die in your “Western” environment. You might have to consider moving to her part of the world, so that at least she can still be with her family and friends.

It's a mine field - anywhere in the world.

So take some chances, risk getting hurt, keep an open mind, but be wary. Only give what you can afford to lose.
2009-10-29, 05:08:27
OJAS from United States  
Thanks, Jerry from Bangkok. Well said, about the homework before parting with ones money. Due to the lengthy visa process in many countries, I suggest meeting a potential partner sooner http://www.delphifa..=86#176818
You are on page 88 of 163, other pages: 1 2 3 85 86 87 [88] 89 90 91 160 161 162 163

 

 

NEW: Optional: Register   Login
Email address (not necessary):

Rate as
Hide my email when showing my comment.
Please notify me once a day about new comments on this topic.
Please provide a valid email address if you select this option, or post under a registered account.
 

Show city and country
Show country only
Hide my location
You can mark text as 'quoted' by putting [quote] .. [/quote] around it.
Please type in the code:

Please do not post inappropriate pictures. Inappropriate pictures include pictures of minors and nudity.
The owner of this web site reserves the right to delete such material.

photo Add a picture:
Picture Search

You have received photos and wonder if these photos has been posted here before? Because you suspect this could be a dating scammer, but you do not want to post this picture? Try the Picture Search